Post by The Fluffy Injun on Dec 4, 2012 23:13:33 GMT -5
Conversation between Friends:
Buddy:
Poop now rushes from my bum.
Red my ass becomes.
Blood now stains the white paper.
Me:
Fear not my friend the blood will stop,
Your poo was stiff and hard as rocks,
take some fiber you'll be just fine,
the next poo you have will be very kind.
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The Next day:
Friend:
The Blood in gone,
The poop has stopped.
The Rash persists like OH MY GOSH!
I wipe and wipe like scratch and sniff,
but oh the itch, ain't this a bitch.
Me:
Hydro-cortisone cream will help my friend,
apply generously until the itching ends,
relief and comfort are in site,
just wait it out and you'll be alright.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Later that Day:
Buddy:
I push and push and it comes so slow,
the it, is poop just so you know.
I tried so hard the past days and nights,
the poo is stuck, it puts up a good fight.
Alas I am done my poor sick bum,
again it happens the blood doth run.
Me:
Blood is bad, that's not ok.
Straining and pushing and waiting around,
will have you wishing to be in the ground.
Listen closely and I will tell you why:
Your hemorrhoid is back!
He said "SURPRISE!"
He stings and burns and hangs around.
He clogs your bum and makes you wait around.
Time will tell your poor sphincters blight.
I see surgery coming, the end in sight.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Random 1:
Me:
The stench so bad, I gasp for air.
Oh my god, I do not care.
Holding it for 12 hours straight,
I could not pick a worse fate.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Random 2:
Me:
My legs are numb,
My face is blue,
I stayed too long to take a poo.
My feet are sleepy,
the tingles there,
I cannot get off the golden chair.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Random 3:
Buddy:
In the car, traffic is bad.
Somethings hot in my pants,
could be the burrito I had.
I'm running red lights and honking my horn,
I hope that shart in my pants didn't entail corn.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Random 4:
Me:
I sit here in anticipation,
For now I proceed with my defecation.
The car ride home with my stinky gas power,
Made my wife think she was a Jew in the shower.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Buddy:
Poop now rushes from my bum.
Red my ass becomes.
Blood now stains the white paper.
Me:
Fear not my friend the blood will stop,
Your poo was stiff and hard as rocks,
take some fiber you'll be just fine,
the next poo you have will be very kind.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Next day:
Friend:
The Blood in gone,
The poop has stopped.
The Rash persists like OH MY GOSH!
I wipe and wipe like scratch and sniff,
but oh the itch, ain't this a bitch.
Me:
Hydro-cortisone cream will help my friend,
apply generously until the itching ends,
relief and comfort are in site,
just wait it out and you'll be alright.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Later that Day:
Buddy:
I push and push and it comes so slow,
the it, is poop just so you know.
I tried so hard the past days and nights,
the poo is stuck, it puts up a good fight.
Alas I am done my poor sick bum,
again it happens the blood doth run.
Me:
Blood is bad, that's not ok.
Straining and pushing and waiting around,
will have you wishing to be in the ground.
Listen closely and I will tell you why:
Your hemorrhoid is back!
He said "SURPRISE!"
He stings and burns and hangs around.
He clogs your bum and makes you wait around.
Time will tell your poor sphincters blight.
I see surgery coming, the end in sight.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Random 1:
Me:
The stench so bad, I gasp for air.
Oh my god, I do not care.
Holding it for 12 hours straight,
I could not pick a worse fate.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Random 2:
Me:
My legs are numb,
My face is blue,
I stayed too long to take a poo.
My feet are sleepy,
the tingles there,
I cannot get off the golden chair.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Random 3:
Buddy:
In the car, traffic is bad.
Somethings hot in my pants,
could be the burrito I had.
I'm running red lights and honking my horn,
I hope that shart in my pants didn't entail corn.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Random 4:
Me:
I sit here in anticipation,
For now I proceed with my defecation.
The car ride home with my stinky gas power,
Made my wife think she was a Jew in the shower.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------